“Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” (Luke 6:30, NIV)

Our first step is to become acutely aware that Jesus loves us right where we are. He loves us when we’re prickly. He loves us when we fail to think before we speak. As hard as it is to understand, we don’t always deserve a loving response, but our Heavenly Father gives it in generous measure.

Being loved by Jesus allows us to love others. We are free to give a measure of mercy, even as we work through conflict to resolve differences.

2. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31, NIV)

When we treat others the way we want to be treated, we give up the need to control them or the situation. We stop looking for flaws, as we realize how deeply flawed we are as well. We hold back verbal karate chops, choosing words that heal rather than heat up the situation, because that’s exactly what we’d desire if the tables were turned.

3. Love unexpectedly.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” (Luke 6:32, NIV)

My pastor once asked this question: What if you made it to the end of your life having loved only those who loved you back?

Loving difficult people is a harder path of faith, but it’s also where His greatest work begins in our own heart. It’s where we begin to learn new lessons like, “getting them before they get you” doesn’t make us stronger. Or that living on the defense all the time leaves us little energy to battle what really matters.